Those of you with kids are thinking, "4 kids and a dental office? Enough said!" Which is true, but I must tell you of my misadventure. Having finally gotten dental insurance that is actually worth a dang, I proceeded to make apppointments for my perfect children. I could only get two in at a time, so I started with the 2 oldest children. It happened to be a day when school was out, which seemed like a good idea at the time. So I loaded up all 4 kids in the car, complete with one toy each to keep them occupied in the waiting room. I really had thought this through, and some how, even with 11 years experience, I thought everything would be fine, afterall, my kids are older now right? Wrong!! So we walk in and of course the first thing I have to do is fill out paper work. I take a corner in the huge waiting room and fill it with me and my kids. "Just play quietly" I say as I hunker down to fill out the Magna Carta of Dental documents. It goes ok for about 10 minutes (ok, meaning they have only been loud enough to wake one or two dead people, which as a mom with 4 kids is somehow acceptable to me), then Noah gets called in for his appointment first. I finally finish the documents and take them up to the front, then Sammi gets called in as well. I find the water machine and those cone shaped cups and take a drink to the remaining two kids to share. This is of course where I went wrong. Cuz no sooner was the cup out of my hand, then the two girls started to fight over who got a drink first and how the other person was going to drink it all. To which I gestured to the water machine, on the other side of the waiting room, and told them there was plenty of water, they could just go and get more (mistake #2). After my announcement, I had to turn my attention to Sammi who had come back out to tell me that she had to take out her earrings for the x-ray, "but mom, they told me I couldn't take them out for 6 weeks, my ear ring holes will close up" to which her eyes start to brim with tears, of course my sympathetic mom response was "Oh for crying out loud, they won't close up, come here we'll take them off for a minute, it will be fine" Little did I know that the reason you can't take them out for 6 weeks, is because they won't come out, no matter what you do. As I pulled, pried, and twisted, Sammi's tears turned to full fledged tears right in the waiting room. Realizing that this wasn't working, I decided to take her into the bathroom to look in the mirror so that she can take them out herself, and hopefully it wouldn't hurt as much. I left the other 2 girls in the waiting room after telling them to stay right there, that I would be right back. After about 2 minutes in the bathroom I knew there was no way we were getting those earrings out short of ripping them out, so I told the x-ray tech that they wouldn't come out, could she do the appointment without x-rays, to which the girl told me she would just do the x-rays with the earrings in, it was no big deal. To which I'm thinking, then why did I just spend 10 minutes trying to get them out? So I finally return to the waiting room to find my other two girls racing across the room to the water machine fighting over who would get to fill up the cup this time. The waiting room is of course filled with parents watching my kids zip around the waiting room like wild indians. What I wanted to do was grab each girl by the ear and pull them to the other side of the room and yell at the top of my lungs at them. But of course there were too many witnesses, so I settled for a whispered, but threatening, "get in your seats now!" They went to thier seats but obviously didn't realize that I was seething because they continued to argue. I was distracted from my seething to fill out more paper work, some for me and Mike so that we could make appointments as well. While I'm filling out even more paper work. Jessi decides to start throwing her teddy bear into the air and catching it, while Kassi decided to jump up around to try to catch it first, which was of course an exercise in futility. I tried to ignore them and finish filling out the papers because in my mind they were in for it when we got home. Finally, Noah and Sammi finished their appointments and of course I was told that my though my kids brush their teeth, they are not doing it right. Because they had plaque in places there shouldn't be any. So the dentist gave all my kids a demonstration on how to brush correctly. I went to the front desk to make the appointments for Mike and I and I told the kids to get in the car, I would be right there. I was watching them from the window and saw that they left the doors open so it wouldn't be too hot which was fine. The lady at the desk took forever to make me the appointments as she had to make profiles on the computer for both of us. I was getting worried, so I kept watching the kids in the car and they seemed fine. Just as I was finally able to leave. Sammi and Jessi come crashing through the door "Mom we're so hot and you left us all alone for so long!" Which of course every head in the waiting room turns to look at the terrible mom that would do such a thing. So after 2 hours in that office, I put on my best fake smile and walked out the door. "Get in the car and don't talk to me" I say through clenched teeth, which only grants me silence for about 2 seconds. I ignore the complaints and whining until everyone is in the car and the doors are safely shut, then I explode. I promptly tell them that they are all grounded from the T.V. for a week. They finally realize I'm seriously mad and I thought that meant they would be smart and keep quiet, but of course not. The first thing out of Sammi's mouth is, "does that include the computer?" I'm shocked at her stupidity and answer, "it does now, do you really want to keep talking?" I finally got my silence all the way home where I promptly put myself in time out in my bedroom to cool down. Then I get a phone call from Tiffany because we were going to my dad's house for dinner that night, and she was letting us know that they would be swimming. Well, I already told my kids that their punishment was no t.v., but I couldn't just let them have fun now, so my husband came up with a solution. When he got home he calmly announced that they could swim at grandpa's house if they recieved a spanking now. I was sure no one would want one, but to my surprise, they all lined up for their spankings. It went oldest to youngest, when Sammi came out sobbing, I decided I was going to show no sympathy and told her to go to her room to cry to which she replied, "it's not that, it's just that I forgot what a spanking felt like." After I started laughing she stopped crying. Soon we went to grandpa's house for dinner and swimming. Of course knowing the story, Grandma Bonnie said to Jessi "I bet you're never going to act like that again at the dentist, huh?" To which my 8 year old replied "Oh come on, it was 2 hours what do you expect?"
Is it any wonder that when it was time to take the other 2 to the dentist, that I forgot all about it and now have to wait another month to get in again?
