Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Identity Crisis??!!

I'm a stay at home mom, right? And a stay at home mom, stays home with her children. So what does a stay at home mom do when all her children are in school, including her 4 year old who started preschool today? Now granted, it's only 3 hours a day, 4 days a week, but this is the first time in 11 years that I have had that kind of time on a regular basis all alone. Now don't get me wrong, I can think of all kinds of things to do, but I seem paralysed to do any of them. I have been using my kids as an excuse not to do so many things that now I find myself doubting whether I could do any of them at all. I know that makes no sense, but right now I feel like anything I try to do, I will just fail at. Even something as simple as organizing my house. I'm just afraid to even try. How lame is that?!! Wow, if I react like this just with 3 hours alone what am I going to do when they all grow up and move away? I always complain at how clingy Kassi is, but I think she must have trained me well, cuz I'm having a hard time thinking of her in preschool without me. Boy, I never thought I would feel this way, I feel so lost with out my kids. Well, that's enough of my rant for today, besides, by the end of the week I will probably be so happy to have this time to myself. Just as soon as I figure out what to do with it!!!

3 comments:

Tiffany & Annabella said...

You'll be fine!!! YOu will find you nitch.

Tara Brooks said...

It's hard at first, but then it is SO freeing when you get used to it. Just force yourself to do something and then by the time the new-ness wears off, you'll be in a routine of getting things done and you'll want more time. It will start all over again when she goes to Kindergarten and is in school all day. Just take time, readjust.
Worst case senario (really?) is you fail at something....big deal. We all fail a few times, you just got to keep trying.

Make a Difference said...

Nikki! That happened to me when Taylor, my youngest went to Kindergarten. All of the sudden no one needed a drink of water, no one to play with and no one needed a snack! I had to go to the store alone (the thing I had always dreamed of!) I could do whatever I wanted to do but...I could do nothing! So I totally understand!
Well that was about 12 years ago...as Taylor is now 17 and my older two are married. It's funny how life comes at you fast. Somehow you figure it out and learn to enjoy doing things by yourself. Call me and we'll go to lunch!