Tuesday, January 8, 2008
I'm a stay at home mom, right? And a stay at home mom, stays home with her children. So what does a stay at home mom do when all her children are in school, including her 4 year old who started preschool today? Now granted, it's only 3 hours a day, 4 days a week, but this is the first time in 11 years that I have had that kind of time on a regular basis all alone. Now don't get me wrong, I can think of all kinds of things to do, but I seem paralysed to do any of them. I have been using my kids as an excuse not to do so many things that now I find myself doubting whether I could do any of them at all. I know that makes no sense, but right now I feel like anything I try to do, I will just fail at. Even something as simple as organizing my house. I'm just afraid to even try. How lame is that?!! Wow, if I react like this just with 3 hours alone what am I going to do when they all grow up and move away? I always complain at how clingy Kassi is, but I think she must have trained me well, cuz I'm having a hard time thinking of her in preschool without me. Boy, I never thought I would feel this way, I feel so lost with out my kids. Well, that's enough of my rant for today, besides, by the end of the week I will probably be so happy to have this time to myself. Just as soon as I figure out what to do with it!!!