Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Summary of my story

Once again I need everyone's help. I am writing a query letter to send to agents and the summary of my book needs to make them want to read it. So I am pasting my summary below and if it made you want to read my book go to comments and say "It worked". If not, please, please tell me why so I can fix it!! This is VERY IMPORTANT. I will be sending query letters next week!! Please help me!!!
Thanks!!

Mikayla is a normal twelve year old girl with an average, boring family; at least that’s what she thinks until her grandmother dies. Trying to make up for the loss, her father takes her to the annual Renaissance Festival she normally attends with her grandmother. The festival takes a different turn this year when she is given an extraordinary sword with mystical powers that allows her to enter the dream realm. Before she knows what’s happening, Mikayla is escaping from kidnappers, fighting duels, training for battle and balancing the good from the evil that controls the dreams of the waking world. And as if that isn’t enough, Mikayla’s dad has his own sword and could save her—the problem is, his sword fights for the wrong side.

10 comments:

the Jesters Court said...

Hey, I like everything except "grandmother dies"
could you say it in another way, maybe "her grandmothers death."
I don't know why, I never like the word die.
I probably doesn't bother anyone else!

Tara Brooks said...

I agree with "The Jesters court", Grandmother dies just doesn't seem to have enough compassion. Sounds a little cold.
Resa said that she isn't into "magical" stuff, so I don't think it was the way it was written, but the content she didn't seem interested in (we'll know soon when I read it to them, what she really thinks of the book).
Jillian said that she would want to read it, that it sounds good.

Wilson Family said...

Wow! You guys are awesome! Keep the help coming!! Thanks so much!

Prycefamily5 said...

I agree with Ruth Nikki, death seems easier on the eyes than the word Dies, maybe because we all love our grandmothers so very much. The book sounds very interesting, I would defintely pick it up and finish reading it after that intro.

Prycefamily5 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Prycefamily5 said...

OOops sorry about the double entry!

Davis family said...

yes we would read it. The girls and I agree. They want to know how long it is and when we can read it!! Thanks for the summary!

the Harris' said...

I think it works. Sorry I haven't gotten back to you about the book. I really am working on it and have suggestions for you. Though it may be too late now. I've been so busy with mine. Oh and http://www.evanovich.com/main_writingqanda.html has some great tips about submitting your work to a publisher. In case you didn't already know.

Melissa said...

Sounds like an exciting tale!!

Linz and Joshua Ashcroft said...

That summary makes me want to read the book. Hmmm...a little curious :) Hope the best for you!