The Blog Family

I LOVE blogging!! How fun is it to be able to put pictures of the kids online for all to see with the funny ancetedotes to go with it. Not only that, but everytime I go to someone else's blog there are links taking me into the lives of other people. It really is like watching alot of reality shows. I find myself laughing with people I don't even know, and celebrating their triumphs and sharing thier grief at thier trials. Pretty soon it feels like these people are family. The cool part is that the family is soooo big. So often you find the blog of a friend that you have lost contact with years ago. It's amazing how your own blog gets around too. I noticed that my blog has been viewed by someone in Germany, and there is one person in Nebraska that looks at my blog on a daily basis! (BTW, say hi sometime, share your blog with me so I can read yours too!!) So if you don't have a blog yet, sign up!! Or at least leave comments and say hi, so you too can become part of the blogging family!! (I'll be updating soon, sorry it's taking me so long.)

The Invisible Mom

I got this story in an e-mail today and I really loved it. It helps give me perspective in this role called "Mom"!!

I'm Invisible

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.


Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Chan nel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right a round 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actual l y smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Eur ope . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: < /SPAN>
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so muc h time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction . But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be o n. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime, because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself.

I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

Photography Blog

I've started a new photography blog. I've been having fun doing mostly wedding photography for a little while now, so I decided to have a separate blog for my photos. I would love for you to check them out. I still have more that I want to add later, but I went ahead and put the link to the side of this post beneath Our family and Friends, click on "My Photography Blog". Be sure to let me know what you think!! Thanks!!

Cable Wan Kanobi

After already getting our tax return, we went for a date last night. This date consisted of Mike and I going out to dinner then off to shop for a new computer. We were concerned about our 7 yr old computer, that had been giving us problems this past year. So we found a really good deal on a good computer with monitor, and printer and came home to set up. Mike said that he really wanted me to set up the computer this time, as a "learning" experience. I of course deferred to his superior knowledge on the subject and tried to extricate myself from the situation. He would have none of it, so we finally settled on me just watching his efforts so I could be enlightened. I pulled up a chair, sat down to watch as I said "teach me Obi Wan." To which he replied, "That's Cable Wan Kanobi to you." Soon my simple job of watching turned into that of a surgical nurse.
Cable Wan - "Printer"
Me - "printer"
Cable Wan - "out of the box preferably"
Me - "Well be more specific next time."
Cable Wan - " CPU"
Me - "Hey, I know what that is!!"
Cable Wan - "Do you know what it stands for?"
Me - "Uhhmm 'comes pretty undone'?"
Cable Wan - "Uh, no, 'central processing unit'"
Me - "yea, so, I knew what it was, what more do you want?"

Suffice it to say that soon Mike released me from this onerous task, so he could do it in peace. That is how I come to be typing on this nice new keyboard today. Thank goodness for tax returns and husbands that know how to set up computers!!

Back to School

No, I'm not talking about the kids going back to school, I'm talking about ME!! While I was complaining to Mike one day about what I was going to do with Kassi in preschool, he mentioned that I should find out what it would take to finish my AA degree at the community college. I was quite skeptical because it had been over 12 yrs. since I took my last course. But I went because, (let's be honest) I had nothing else to do. I was so excited to learn that all the credits I had earned years ago, still counted, except for the computer class (because I'm ancient of course and they didn't even have microsoft when they taught those classes). But I was very relieved to find out that my math class I took straight out of high school (pre-calculus and trigonometry) still counted, because, as I told the advisor, I could never do that again!! So, to make a long story short, I have 43 credits towards my degree and only need 17 more, and 7 of them are electives!! Woo Hoo!! I will take a computer class this semester while Kassi is at preschool, since it is an open-entry, open-exit, which apparently means I can start whenever and finish at my own speed and go to the school whenever I have time. Perfect!! Next school year when Kassi is in full day kindergarten, I will be able to take more classes, but I will still only take a couple at a time. I feel like I have a direction to go in now, not that I know what I will do with my AA degree after I get it, but I will have one.

Sad days

Mike and I got news Wed. night that a friend of ours had passed away. Our friends, Catherine and Luke Short moved out of our ward at church a couple of years ago, and even though they didn't move far, we really didn't see them as often as before. We still kept in contact via e-mail and children. They have 3 daughters and 1 son. Their oldest daughter is Sammi's age, and their youngest daughter is Jessi's age, and the girls have been pretty good friends. So every so often they would come to birthday parties or visa versa. Well, on Wed. Luke died of an anerism at the young age of 38(?). This news shocked us and all around us. It's the one thing we all fear, but never want to happen, especially to anyone we know. I can't help but think of Catherine when she had to tell her children the news. My heart literally breaks at the thought of any child getting that news let alone children I know. When you get news like this, it is hard not to put yourself in their place and really ponder how you would cope. But also you think about the person and how he touched your life. We met Luke and Catherine at church. Our children were really close in ages, so it made sense that we started to hang out. Luke always seemed really quiet and mellow, but he was always so nice to everyone. I remember one time we had a few families over to play cranium. We played in couples and Luke and Catherine got the question "What was the first video played on MTV?" I remember the question so clearly because instead of just answering it, Luke started singing "Video killed the radio star" Catherine joined in and they were swaying to the beat, and I was so shocked to see this normally quiet guy not afraid to sing out in front of everyone. From then on, I knew the quiet was just a facade. He went paintballing with Mike several times over the years too, and somehow the guys seem to form a bond while shooting each other. Mike and Luke both worked on construction sites often and would occasionally run into each other at work too. So they both could relate to each other on a work level as well. But the real bond comes from knowing the Savior, Jesus Christ. Luke lived his faith on a daily basis. He went to church every Sunday, accepted callings, served in the community, and spent lots of time with his family. He was a good example to all who knew him. He coached soccer, I think, every year that I knew him, and last year my 8 year old brother was on his team. My step mom talked about how during the games, all the other coaches would yell at the kids to run, or shout at them to do this or that. But not Luke, he always found a way to let the kids know what they should do in a kind manner. I know that though his family will miss him deeply, that this is not the end for them. They have the blessing of their family being sealed in the temple for time and all eternity. In my LDS religion, we believe that the power to bind on earth and in heaven inside the Lord's temple has been restored to the Earth in the the latter days by the prophet Elijah himself. This is a great comfort during times like these, to know with every fiber of your being that you will be with your family again. I know that Heavenly Father loves us enough to make this possible through our Savior, Jesus Christ. And I testify that families truly can be together forever. In Jesus Christ's name, Amen.

For those of you that knew them here is the funeral information:
Funeral Services for Luke Short
will be
Monday, January 14, 2008
9:30 am - Viewing
11:00 am Funeral
at
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
79th Avenue and Acoma
Peoria, AZ 85381

*******************************************************************

Donations can be made to the

Cathryn Short Fund
account # 1001143272 routing # 122105359

at Johnson Bank
3131 East Camelback Road
Suite 100
Phoenix, AZ 85016

Identity Crisis??!!

I'm a stay at home mom, right? And a stay at home mom, stays home with her children. So what does a stay at home mom do when all her children are in school, including her 4 year old who started preschool today? Now granted, it's only 3 hours a day, 4 days a week, but this is the first time in 11 years that I have had that kind of time on a regular basis all alone. Now don't get me wrong, I can think of all kinds of things to do, but I seem paralysed to do any of them. I have been using my kids as an excuse not to do so many things that now I find myself doubting whether I could do any of them at all. I know that makes no sense, but right now I feel like anything I try to do, I will just fail at. Even something as simple as organizing my house. I'm just afraid to even try. How lame is that?!! Wow, if I react like this just with 3 hours alone what am I going to do when they all grow up and move away? I always complain at how clingy Kassi is, but I think she must have trained me well, cuz I'm having a hard time thinking of her in preschool without me. Boy, I never thought I would feel this way, I feel so lost with out my kids. Well, that's enough of my rant for today, besides, by the end of the week I will probably be so happy to have this time to myself. Just as soon as I figure out what to do with it!!!